Signs of sexuality

Nikolay Lakutin, 2018

It is no secret that the author of short books Nikolai Lakutin many fans. It is also no secret that he does not have a model appearance, but like many of you-once dreamed of popularity with the opposite sex. In this book you will read what its author lives, which allowed his once dream to come true and realized a hundredfold…

24 hours

On the descent from a narrow humpback bridge over a small river, which in the city are many, a heavy man looking at his feet in the evening stopped an old Gypsy.

— Cross my palm with silver, my dear, tell the whole truth, what would that be…

— No I have nothing, stop, someone richer, — interrupted her man, obviously not wanting to interrupt his way to talk to the assorted beggars.

— Stop if anyone else came, and the hour is already here I stand, no soul, and one that you see before you. And you do not hurry, honey, give me a pen in my left, though I see what you're cloudy like this go completely over the face, for it will not take the money.

Many days in his life met and saw off a man coming off the bridge, but never had to deal with Gypsy divination, heard a lot, but never turned to anyone, although the interest sometimes showed.

— Okay, hold on, losing me now I have nothing, nothing to scare me, you really can't steal from me too nothing here, and the man held out his left palm.

— Well, now that let left-handed or what? the Gypsy asked with interest.

Write right, so taught, and in fact, I'm a Lefty, it's true.

— Then right-come on, let's see what's good… — Gypsy paused, peering at the palm like lazy eye, squinting, on the contrary expanding the orbit and pushing the palm away from the eye. Then she looked at the man, looked from head to toe, looked straight into his eyes and with a stern frown asked:

— Valentine in front of me?

— S…. S. Valentin I, there is that written?

— Yes here not even written, wait… so… so… well, it was that bad, all, and, Valentin? Favorite thing was busy, but still earned a nice, well earned. And now, without a penny roam the city, without money and without ideas. Well, what happens, you are broke, there is nothing much wrong then… — Gypsy on for some time silent and again stared intently at his right hand men.

— Of course, the woman's your left, immediately after the destruction, so what else… — she continued, — with friends, then stopped the friendship led…you friend has set up, best friend set you up…and tripped hard. How quickly your life run events, a week ago would I to meet you, Valentine, that's when I got money I went home with them and can save available help, well, Yes, so should all. Give the left again, there's something about the future said.

— Only money I have no, nothing there is no.

— Yes, I see that you're goal as a Falcon, don't worry, I told you not to take money, come on.

But this time the Gypsy did not look at her palm for long. Hastily glancing at a few imaginary points, she threw the man's palm with a ridiculous gesture to the side, looked at him with fright and said nothing, turned and walked away from the bridge.

What are you doing? — shouted in footprint a man, making a few steps towards old a Gypsy. She turned around, but remained silent, looking into his eyes brought curiosity to the man.

— What you saw out there, don't you say? Or couldn't read, then say, then stopped sharply?

— How many questions you have, my dear — sadly on the exhale, said the Gypsy. — Read — read, and I can say that your future is ordained, but only if you want to know is, do I need it?

— Now, that's all you are, first lure, themselves, cling to, search for, than the person would have to croon, and then draw from him what we can — razvorachivat, with bitterness in loud tones gave the man.

— Yes, that you will take something want, to live you have left, Val, days, not more. And turned and disappeared from the eyes of an old Gypsy woman, leaving the crazed man with her mouth slightly open on the descent narrow bridge, which there are many.

***

Gypsy was, as you can see, knowing the trick, all right she said the burly man hanging around town. Indeed, a week ago, Valentin Sergeyevich could not even imagine that the carelessly put signature on the slip of a sheet together with a bunch of other papers by his best friend, the co-founder of a large company, would lead him to a complete loss of everything he had. All earned money Valentin invested in the development of his company, and just at the moment when everything was invested, and even borrowed credit funds, which he took the day before, because the project paid off handsomely, he suddenly found himself with nothing. And as the business problems of banks are not interested in, thoughts about how to pay off debt never left the wretched man, day or night throughout the week. Sleep he could not, his eyes ached from fatigue seething brain, weary body, curled in a dark corner of the essence of spirit. He lived the last few years Valentine in the apartment of civil wife, the beautiful, from time to time woman who suddenly ceased to be beautiful in the day, when I evaluated the situation and not the most polite way escorted by her partner, throwing his things from his apartment and changing locks.

Thoughts about the very recent past, about the expected future rushed in my head like crazy:"Friend-eh friend, the work that I lived, the woman that I loved."Whirlwinds of thoughts did not allow to eat, sleep, think about something else, Valentin felt like losing the very ability to reason, it seemed life was cut short, and now the meaning of life is absolutely not visible on the horizon. Perhaps it is this sense, perhaps he is a little on the visible horizon, but the forces on a completely unfamiliar road in search of meaning was no more. All these time, all the misery just wasn't allowed to do anything, they were incinerated from the inside all what was in the mind, the soul, and now ruining the flames spread to the body. After spending a week with his mother, Valentine for the first time in a few days went outside to somehow unwind, just look at the white light and see some hope and some may be the answer to at least one of the many questions. It was at this moment that he met an old Gypsy on the descent of the bridge. And a person who has barely found the strength to try to abstract a little from the existing problems, suddenly receives the news that there is no more than a day to live.

Long he stood at the bridge, grinding the head of the last said Gypsy. Now he really didn't know what to do. The first thing that came to mind to drown herself, but what's the point, the day before, a day later…

After wandering a little more around the city with broken worries, thoughts, some possible cases, Valentine returned to his parents ' house, went to bed and slept soundly until the middle of the next day.

***

So hard not slept Valentin already many years. Almost immediately after the Institute, he got a fussy job, then another, later changed direction, and after some time, gaining experience, he opened a couple with a friend a small company that in a few years has acquired an impressive scale and came to a serious turn. All are in a hurry, worries, nerves, the works. Serious project launched in his business this unfortunate man who had every chance of success, and in the process of starting also sacrificed a restful sleep. And that's unfortunate exhausting week, which squeezed all that was left of strength and health.

But after the words of the Gypsy, something happened, something changed dramatically. It was empty, and faded care, completely, everything. Has not yet taken its place in my mind thoughts about the funeral and mourning ceremonies, as soon forthcoming, yet a burning desire to tell everything that I learned, family and friends, it is pitch-black emptiness and the calm…and a wild desire to forget in sleep and maybe never Wake up.

But when the sunlight is more in forces was to hold back the thick curtains, Valentin reluctantly opened his eyes. Some time I lay enjoying the relaxed and peaceful state that he felt every receptor your body. The head was light, the eyes rested, the body relaxed, the soul in its place, and the beats of the heart could not be heard. Such a state did not emerge in memory, probably from childhood, when a carefree boy, Valka with other boys from morning to evening drove the ball in the yard, and in the evening fell into bed, unable to eat anything and wash away the thick dust cover from the whole body.

And if not for the first thought:"am I not in Paradise?", it may be about yesterday's meeting with a Gypsy, a man would not have remembered for a long time. And remember, still found the strength to smile and said aloud to the empty light room:

I'm alive!

***

To think about death not like, mood was surprisingly easy and even in some extent festive.

— I will spend the last hours light, since it so happened that from all yesterday's problems I suddenly became free, — Valentin thought. With a simple-minded smile, he easily and naturally got out of bed, opened the curtains and saw life outside the window. Everything turns, everything turns, moves, flickers, even somehow I wanted to plunge into this rapidly changing and rapidly flowing, like a mountain stream, river.

— Since childhood, I have not been on the rides, and today is Sunday, all the entertainment centers are open!!!

And after Breakfast, forgetting about the painful mood of the man went to the amusement Park, the last time in my life taking my mother some money.

How cool was pouring the laughter of children with all sorts of rides, attractions and amusements. Young parents with their rosy kids riding on the colorful horses, the swirling shells, centrifugal wheels came the cheerful fervent cries the youth. The queue on the Ferris wheel forced to change the route, and the last free space in the next race"rail slides on the bends"Valentine sat down next to a cute smiling lady, about the same age, who seemed even happy neighbor on the coupe and gently asked:

— Excuse me, my cries, if I suddenly can't handle it, you know, lost a friend in a dispute on the desire, and she, the devil, as a well-deserved reckoning has placed me on this ride, knows I'm afraid of such things, but, as they say, a gambling debt…

— You play cards? — with curiosity asked his assistant delighted so pleasant partner Valentin?

— I, Yes,… and you not?

— I probably already forgot what suits are, I remember that the marking is red and black, well, that's where my knowledge of card games, perhaps, ends.

— No, you do not think, I not one for card games, just sometimes in the evenings so gets a little tiring, well I call you friend, she is the same lonely as I am, and he took in her intoxicating language to suggest a game you want, and I naively agreed.

— And you know, I, frankly, very happy that you and a friend are all so played out, and how could I have sat with some drunk teenager, not a wonderful lovely lady, by the way, very pleasant to talk to.

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